Denial
by Tianimalz
Summary: Terra one-shot. I promise, she doesn't die this time, LOL! Rated for mild alcohol use. Reference to BBT


I do not own Teen Titans, or any thing associated with it.  
TT belongs to DC comics and Warner Bros.  


* * *

**Denial.**

Looking over the city, the lights continued to blare, cars honked in the far off distance, the night air was warm, the breeze chilled just slightly, making the blond haired girl pull her jacket a little tighter around her shoulders, her arms out of the sleeves, her legs dangling over the lip of the building, she watched with a mocking grin on her face. She swished the bottle around a couple times in her hand, listening to the drink move around in the brown glass, before taking a quick swig of it, smirking even further. Her blue eyes where glazed, her hair straight and framing around her face with a careless breeze.

The moon stared back at her, over the city tops, the roof tops, the people and noise below, the bright silver gray, her conscience seeming to beam and mirror off the glass orb. Terra tilted her head to the side slightly, her hair spilling over her shoulder, her lips parting just slightly, her maturing cheek bones more prominent on her face. How many years ago had it been? How many life times ago did it seem these days?

"Too many," she muttered, drinking again, sighing and looking down to the bottle in her twenty year old hands. Her soft forehead shaded over her eyes, her light brown eye brows lowering, and tilting upwards at their tips, her lips forming a softly parted o shape, her rough fingers playing over the bottle again.

"You seem awful lonely."

Terra grinned at the voice, but didn't say anything for a moment. Her eyes half closed, she kept looking down, fidgeting slightly before looking back to the full moon. God it was so big tonight, staring at her… penetrating through her soul… did she have one? She wondered sometimes.

"It's been awhile, B." She whispered, grinning morbidly.

"You looked like you needed some company…"

"I always liked that about you, you know?" She said, not wanting to look over, afraid too. "That you where always looking… no one else did. They still don't, they don't look for me like you used too."

"They just didn't know how… you never let anyone look for you."

"I wanted them too…" She whispered, biting her lip as she looked down again, staring past her feet to the city streets below. Sitting on the concrete lip, her quiet resting place to contemplate. "But at the same time… I was afraid they would find me, the real me… under all those layers… the me you found."

"Maybe that's why you're always so lonely?"

Terra stifled a sob that wanted to escape, quickly drinking again, feeling the burn of the alcohol against the back of her throat, pushing her back into reality, making her feel a pain that would remind her she was human after all. Again she forced herself to keep from looking over at Beast Boy, she couldn't look over, maybe he wasn't real. She didn't want to risk it, and kept her eyes focused below, feeling a wind pulse around her, rippling at her loose brown jacket, tickling her bare legs, and pushing her hair around her head.

"I'm used to being lonely… I guess I'll just cope with it." Terra muttered, tilting her head again, her eyes turning as she let loose a small whimper at her own words.

"Ter… c'mon, that's not the best defense. At least think up something with more spunk to it."

She laughed, just a little, enough to make her shoulders jerk, her eyes close, before her lips closed again, pressing softly as she took in a deep breath, feeling the night wrap around her. "I guess I just don't feel the spunk anymore, B." She breathed, opening her eyes after a shake of her head.

"Think you'll get it back?"

"You know what?" Terra muttered, looking again to the moon, almost swearing she saw her reflection in it. Maybe it was the whisky though… she couldn't be sure, and these days, she didn't want to be sure… because whenever she felt sure, things screwed up beyond repair. Look at the Titan's, what she had done, what she had never been able to take back because she had been so sure of her plan to get control, to fit in. "I don't think I want to get it back…" She finished.

"Don't say that."

"But it's true, Gar I know it's true… it's one of the only things I do know anymore." Terra paused. "And if denial is all I got going for me… be a pal and don't ruin it." She finally couldn't stand it any longer, and turned to see her old friend, the one person in the world she had felt sure enough to turn to. But Terra blinked, tilting her head, feeling her blond hair push against her scalp and fall over her shoulder. She frowned so gently that her face did not crease, her eyes closed again, holding back her sob, she turned back to the moon.

After all… she was the only one on this roof. Opening her eyes, Terra glanced to the empty side, where no one had been standing but her own imagination… her own denial.

* * *

I know it's short, but I just wanted to write something. I was listening to Green Day's song "21 guns" and this is just what happened to come out of my mind while listening x) So I hope it wasn't too bad, or confusing.  
Thanks for reading!

... HEY!~ OMG I WROTE A ONE-SHOT WITHOUT KILLING TERRA! YAY! Improvement 8D


End file.
